• It may not have been fair, just or your fault, but don’t “go off” on your employer.

• Your experiencing a wide range of emotions – it’s a grieving process so give yourself time to do that. It may take a day, a week, a month.

• Give yourself a certain amount of time to decompress. Even if its just a day or two (though preferably longer) make it YOUR time to do nothing, do something fun, be with your family, etc…

• Make a list of ALL the things you are thankful for in your life. Sometimes during a traumatic event we have a tendency to forget these.

• Reach out for your friends and family – let them support you. Isolation is NOT what you need right now.

• Resist any temptation to jump right in to looking for your next job. Again, give yourself (even just a little) time.

• When you are ready, have a symbolic “moving on” ceremony. It could be a dinner, a day at the spa, a vacation, a day of golf, a conference you have been excited to attend or enrollment in a certification or MBA program. Whatever it is, big or small – it will help I promise! (2-years ago my “moving on ceremony” was a dinner with my husband, complete with a big cake, candlelight and  a notepad and pen. We had so much fun brainstorming on all of our goals for the next 12 months and it really helped us to get focused!)

• Be brave. It will be okay.

• If the TV is overflowing with negative news, turn it off. Every month millions of professionals are hired. It just doesn’t make the news. Surround yourself with positive reinforcements.

• Many people have been fired or laid off in their careers – many highly paid and otherwise successful people! Don’t get down on yourself or start interviewing if you feel unusually sad or bitter (this tends to come out in interviews). Look for a support group, a coaching group, a mastermind group, a church group or any group where you can get positive support which helps to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

By the way I am not talking about a group of people to commiserate with – steer clear of those people right now! This will help you more than you know. I speak from personal experience and as someone who is “not a joiner” Just take a deep breath and do it for yourself. I promise you will be glad you did!     

Got any tips to share? If you have ever been fired or laid off, what helped you get through it? Please feel free to add your comments! 

Mid Managers and executives get fired for lots of reasons. Some are legitimate for performance reasons and some firings are completely unjustified. Regardless of the reason for being let go there are solid methods for communicating the circumstances without it hurting your candidacy with future potential employers.

Here are three solid steps you can take to have successful interviews after being fired.

Step #1 – Give yourself time to decompress

This is the most important step you can and will take. If you have lost your job most likely you will go through a grieving process – similar to other significant life-losses we all experience. If you interview prematurely you may inadvertently “wear your grief” and/or find yourself unable to talk about your last employer with the kind of convincing detachment and discretion you will need to keep interviewers focused and excited about the value you offer them.

What if you need to begin to interview right away? Well then to speed up your “grieving process” while still honoring that time cycle, take a ceremonial weekend vacation, book a round of golf, a spa day or a family picnic by the lake. Whatever you decide make sure it’s fun and relaxing because this is your decompression time…just for yourself! Title your outing: “your ceremonial moving on.” This is a physical process that evokes very real physical and mental benefits.

I have seen this “moving-on ceremony” work wonders with my clients (it will work for you too!) and I have used it myself. When I left my last employer my husband threw me a congratulatory dinner and I bought myself a decadent slice of carrot cake, stuck and candle in it and we spent the evening talking about the future. It was wonderful!

Step #2 – Identify your allies

You want to contact any and all allies you have and had with your last company. These can include past colleagues, people that worked for you, key executives, clients and vendors. Anyone that can attest to your strengths, your attributes and anything positive. In applicable cases those individuals who can diplomatically hint that there were problems beyond your control with your last company can be especially helpful. Remember references can be provided by lots of other people besides your immediate “boss”.

Step #3 – Prescript a BRIEF but clear statement

Develop a brief statement about the reason you were fired and practice saying it. You can use it in your upcoming interviews. Keep it short and simple and clear. Here is an example:

Unfortunately I had no choice but to leave my last employer. When I originally took the position I was excited about________.

At first blush it seemed that their recent merger was going well. I had no idea there was such internal animosity amongst management. Perhaps in my excitement of the opportunity I missed the subtle signs. If I were to interview for another merger situation I would certainly know what questions to ask. Now I am focusing my attention on moving forward and I am quite excited to be here to talk with you about your corporation’s goals.

No matter what you “say” the secret is to be positive, bold and forward thinking. Your interviewers will focus on whatever you shine the spot light on so keep your attention on them, their challenges and how you can help them!

Using these three steps you can easily turn a situation you may be worrying about into a non-issue. Remember too, many people that have been fired worry terribly that they will have to make big sacrifices in order to land their next position. This is so often untrue! Use the situation to reflect on whatever can be learned from it, use these powerful techniques to minimize any damage and simply move on!