I won’t name names, but I would like to share a little story with you about a past company I used to work for. The conditions were almost unbearable and although I was planning my escape and had my dream job in sight, it took about a year for me to make the transition. Sparing you the real grizzly details, I will simply say this was a company who did not believe in supporting their employees (financially or otherwise) and I had a passive-aggressive female boss who had made me her special science project.

I won’t say it was easy to deal with this unsavory situation but I got through it and really celebrated and appreciated finally being free when I left!

The following are a few mistakes I have seen professionals make in similar situations and some solutions for circumventing them and getting through a tough job:

Mistake #1: Quit Before You Have Another Job

Quitting will give you immediate relief but that feeling soon looses its luster and is replaced with a nagging anxiety to find a job. Also included in this is potential bad blood with your last employer (affecting strong references), money worries, potential loss of negotiating power (you generally have more negotiating power when you are currently employed) and something often overlooked until you are actually experiencing it, its harder to confidently express yourself to a potential new employer when you are  unemployed.

So make a plan to transition – start working on your career goals, your resume then start your search. If it’s at all possible, do anything but quit!

Mistake #2: Have It Out With Your Boss

I had wonderful daydreams of really giving my old boss a piece of my mind….and I had every reason to believe she deserved it. In my reasoning, someone had to advocate for truth, justice and liberation from tyranny! But, in retrospect, I am glad I held my tongue. My superiors should have seen and acted on this bad behavior and if they wouldn’t, then nothing I could say would have changed them or her. The only thing that would have happened is a string of negative circumstances.

So here is what I did: I avoided her and anyone else who vexed me as much as humanly possible. This allowed me some temporary relief and let me focus on doing my job.

By avoiding those that bother you, the eyebrows your elusiveness might raise will be a small price to pay for a job you are not planning on staying in anyway and it’s better than a hairy confrontation that may haunt you – right as you may be.

Mistake #3: Badmouth Your Employer

Getting yourself all worked up talking to coworkers and others about your companies shortcomings might feel good in some respects but it very well may come back to bite you, get back to your boss and even tarnish your own reputation. Personally I even considered writing a letter to the president of the company after I quite my “hated” job – partly because I had been dealing with the $%^@# for so long I wanted to share what was really going on with him and partly because I felt it was necessary for him to know. In the end I wrote him – but it was a thank you note.

Again, I held my tongue because little good could have come from my negative letter. What is not heard through productive communication certainly won’t be heard through anger and frustration.

So, what helped me? I made a list of all the GOOD things about the company and the benefits of the job – and I tried to concentrate on those positives. I confess I was amazed at how long this list became! All those points just became harder to see and appreciate through the bad times.

Almost all of us have dealt with less-than-desirable jobs. Just like the saying goes – you can’t change others but you can change yourself. You will feel empowered through having “survived” the situation and through the nobility you will experience when you take the higher road.

You probably put a lot of time and energy into getting that job you hate. Think about it…you had to interview; you have probably invested a considerable amount of time and effort for who knows how long. But if you are ready to take the first steps towards a job you actually LOVE to go to each day, then here are three simple yet powerful steps you can take right now:

Step #1. Define and Write Down Your Goals.

Focus on the long term goals first and resist the temptation to worry about how you are going to get there. The “how” is what usually stops us in our tracks. It’s that fear of the unknown – that place you venture out to that creates that uncomfortable feeling. Yes venturing to these places can be uncomfortable but you will quickly find it also does something else. It gets you moving forward and that too, is a powerful motivator AND a confidence builder!

Step #2. Assess Your Surroundings

Notice the people you are working amongst and the product or service you offer. Are you like them or do you feel like a square peg in a round hole? Do you feel like you fit in? What about the product or service you offer – do you believe in it? Does it resonate with you? This is how you can quickly come to terms with what might not be right about your current situation. Maybe it’s your immediate surroundings or maybe it’s the industry itself that is not a match for you. I know for me, in the positions I had that didn’t “fit” me – not only did I feel like an outsider I acted like one because something inside me didn’t “buy in” or “fit in” with everybody else. Not a good way to get a promotion is it?

Step #3: Build Your Job Around Your Life

You can begin to take an honest look at your work/life balance by writing down the lifestyle choices that are most important to you and your family. How many points is your current career supporting? Another powerful step you can take is simply to write down what your job might LOOK like if it was truly built around you life. This is the first step to initiating change in a positive direction. Even if that change may be in the distant future, you will be amazed how much you can and will accomplish by taking this initial action.  Planned relocations, strategic salary increases, consulting, telecommuting, portfolio careers and flexible schedules are all plans that you can put into motion today and examples of career choices I have seen professionals successfully make to build their job around their life!

I didn’t always love my job. In fact I have had jobs I dreaded to go to each day. Although that was so many years ago I still remember the feeling. I certainly was not operating at my best. In fact, the environment I was in felt so constricting I could barely breathe.

OK, enough of that. As my mom says: “erase erase erase!” I would love to tell I got out of that situation really quickly but actually it took me several years to figure out what was wrong and what I had to do to change it (seriously – where was a career coach when I needed one?!)

Why did I struggle so hard? Well on the outside everything looked great. I had what was se en as a great position that paid really well, I was on the fast track to bigger and better positions and I rubbed shoulders with all the top movers and shakers in the business community. Even though I knew I was supposed to want this, deep down, I really didn’t want it at all. That was hard for me to admit.

Eventually I DID get a business coach AND finally that small voice in my heart reached my ears, and I began to look objectively at my situation and map out a plan of escape to greener pastures. Here’s how I did it in three simple steps:

#1. Define and Write Down Your Goals.
Focus on the long term goals first and resist the temptation to worry about how you are going to get there. The “how” is what usually stops us in our tracks. It’s that fear of the unknown – that place you venture out to that creates that uncomfortable feeling. Yes venturing to these places can be uncomfortable but you will quickly find it also does something else. It gets you moving forward and that too, is a powerful motivator AND a confidence builder!

#2. Assess Your Surroundings
Notice the people you are working amongst and the product or service you offer. Are you like them or do you feel like a square peg in a round hole? Do you feel like you fit in? What about the product or service you offer – do you believe in it? Does it resonate with you? This is how you can quickly come to terms with what might not be right about your current situation. Maybe it’s your immediate surroundings or maybe it’s the industry itself that is not a match for you. I know for me, in the positions I had that didn’t “fit” me – not only did I feel like an outsider I acted like one because something inside me didn’t “buy in” or “fit in” with everybody else. Not a good way to get a promotion is it?

#3: Build Your Job Around Your Life
You can begin to take an honest look at your work/life balance by writing down the lifestyle choices that are most important to you and your family. How many points is your current career supporting? Another powerful step you can take is simply to write down what your job might LOOK like if it was truly built around you life. This is the first step to initiating change in a positive direction. Even if that change may be in the distant future, you will be amazed how much you can and will accomplish by taking this initial action. Sometimes professionals feel that taking this step is a waste of time because they don’t believe they can actually find or create a job that truly supports the kind of life they really wish they could have. Avoid this negative pattern of thinking that will most certainly hold you back and give yourself permission to explore the possibilities. Planned relocations, strategic salary increases, consulting, telecommuting, portfo lio careers and flexible schedules are all improvements that you can put into motion today and examples of career choices I have seen professionals successfully make to build their job around their life!

Here’s an additional *FREE* tip:

If you are ready to do some soul searching a nice compliment to the three steps I have shared with you is a great resource for a free personality indicator test at http://www.keirsey.com/. This test, made available online by David Keirsey, is like a short Myers Briggs Test. Simply answer all the questions, and you will get a 4-letter personality indicator as the result along with a short explanatory document.